Realities of Sandy Hook

From guest blogger Randy Hilton:

With the events at Sandy Hook Elementary and the attention the news media have giving it, more and more people are asking the standard questions.
~ How could this happen?
~ Who is to blame?
~ Could it have been prevented?
~ What can be done to stop similar events in the future?
~ How can the children and families deal with the shock and grief?

How could this happen? It happens because we cannot predict the future or see into the minds and hearts of others to know who may do us harm. The reality is these events do occur and will continue to occur, there is no way to stop them. We can reduce their numbers and the severity of the event but we cannot guarantee they won’t occur again. Some call for more restrictions on certain types of weapons but to what end. Someone disturbed enough to commit mass murder will not be stopped just because it would require a little more effort to achieve their goal. Some would argue for more police, or stricter laws to prevent these occurrences. They’re under the mistaken impression if they give up a little freedom they’ll gain safety. Do they think police officers or others in authority don’t go on rampages and kill people? The biggest mass murderers were people of authority and the murders official acts of that authority.

Who is to blame? Nobody, yet at the same time everybody, even the natural evolution of society. True, there is the violence our kids are exposed to every day,  TV, movies, video games and even the news. Yet, could we not say kids have been exposed to and suffered the violence and brutality of life throughout history. Are the lives of children in many third world countries any less violent or deadly than modern society? Perhaps a great deal more, with an array of forces ready to kill them at every turn, including starvation. If those who commit acts were not able to control themselves or did not know they did harm, are they to blame? Does it matter? Is not the list rather long if we wanted to examine everyone that might have stopped him if they had only known. I would ask these questions. Is a parent’s job to make life easy for their children or teach them how to survive? Is the job of schools to act as babysitters or teach the lessons needed to safely interact within and thrive in society? If a child knows no hardship will they cope with it, when it strikes them? If a child gets everything they want, how will they react when they can’t? If a child has never felt the consequences of their actions, is there anything they would not feel free to do? As a society there are things we must yet experience before we learn some lessons. Often the price of our own ignorance is high.

Could it have been prevented? Of course, any number of things could have happened to that end but any number of things can happen at any time. The fact remains it wasn’t prevented. We can learn the lessons from the circumstances of the event and apply them but how long can one individual or group remain vigilant when nothing happens for years or over a lifetime. The reality is these events are rare. The vast majority of people will never directly experience such an event or any major event throughout the entirety of their lives. How much time and wealth can we afford and willing to pay to prevent something most will never see.

What can be done to stop similar events in the future? We can’t entirely stop such things but we can reduce them. Already the reality is they are continually becoming more rare, which is why the media plays such events so widely. Yes, the event is horrific, the loss of children a knife in the heart of every rational human soul and an event not to be underestimated for its impact on the national psyche. But when such an event is given almost unlimited attention, it may serve only to make the situation worse. There are many in this world who seek such attention, regardless of the cost or insane the acts they are willing to commit to garner it. This doesn’t mean we should force broadcasters to curtail such excesses but it would behoove people not to encourage them.

How can the children and families deal with the shock and grief? Obviously, with great difficulty, but in the same way we have for generations. We cannot help but feel for and empathize with family and friends of those killed or injured. Dealing with the trauma of the event or loss of love one, especially when they are children, would for many seem too much to bear. But the reality is there are people who must deal with death every day. What is different is the fact so many lives lost at once, in one event, makes the loss much greater. The seeming senseless and violent nature of it magnifies the impact even more. As humans, whose very mortality often seems to be measured by the whims of fate, we will always know the loss of people we care for. We grieve, we deny, we get angry, but in the end we move on. Time will not stand still for us, but it, at some point, will lessen the heartache, the sadness and the feeling of loss. To what degree it may damage us depends on many things, friends, family, faith and in the end the strength of who we are as an individual and our willingness to move on and our desire to live a complete life.

Sandy Hook is a senseless tragedy that impacts many lives. We can choose to live in fear and allow it to lessen the quality of our lives or we can learn from it and move on. Enough lives have been destroyed and damaged, let us not add ourselves, our family or our children to the list of casualties.