Moral Courage: A Sheepdog Core Trait

It is not the mission of this blog to get embroiled in politics, but events are happening that require comment.  In California, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula makes a movie that is placed on YouTube, there for months with no reaction until the week of 9/11, when protests broke out around the world.

A US Ambassador, Chris Stevens, is killed in Libya, along with three other people, during one of those protests  

The U.S. response is for the Obama Administration to ask YouTube to take the movie off of its site, which thus far has been refused.  Also, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula was interviewed by federal probation officers for as yet undisclosed reasons.

Yesterday I blogged about fear, and how a sheepdog responds to it.  Let's put the events above in that context.  When an incident happens in your school, will you play the "blame game?" Especially if the thing you are blaming is legal?

Blame is something a person does when they fear the consequences of their actions.  It is an attempt to deflect responsibility.  A Sheepdog does not do this.  The safety of others should not be placed in the hands of a person who has no moral courage.

Moral courage is doing what is right, regardless of the consequences.  In the coming days, it would appear we need more people with moral courage taking care of things.

Are you up to it?

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Kind Words from a Well-Respected Source

I just read a blog entry from Michael Dorn's blog, and it was about me!  Having a guy who is one of (if not THE ONE) world's foremost school safety experts notice you is pretty cool.

If you ever get the chance to see him speak, go.  His knowledge of how to keep schools safe is extensive, he is an extremely engaging speaker, and if you can sit through his Weakfish presentation without tearing up, you're not human.

Beyond the presentations, there is a vast wealth of knowledge on school safety that is displayed when he works with your school on emergency operations plans, exercises, and assessments.  Yet despite this scary amount of knowledge, he is personable, has common sense, and is a tireless Warrior for children.

One of the things I have noticed about the School Safety field is that it's a dog-eat-dog field.  Yet since I have known him, I have not known Mike to bad mouth anyone.  He is a true Southern Gentleman.

And the best Sheepdog I have ever met.

Virtue #5 - Work Ethic

Mireles describes work ethic as "getting the job done and sucking it up."  This means doing what is needed to get the job done.  This seems like a lost skill nowadays.  For the Warrior/Sheepdog?Master Teacher, it's a skill that lets you take pride in your accomplishment.

Something that goes with work ethic is sacrifice.  There are always things that you could be doing instead of work.  Maybe there is a favorite TV show on, or perhaps there was a movie you wanted to see, instead of a project you are working on.  Warriors will sacrifice their wants to get the job done.  The key is to find a balance between your duty and your family.  Sometimes Warriors sacrifice their families to get the job done.  Make sure to keep an eye on the big picture.

When doing a job, things can get hard.  There may be details that cause problems, and you need to find a solution.  Frustration can set in, and you will feel like giving up.  Sucking it up means you persevere.  Sometimes the frustration comes from physical limitations.  Michael Dorn has dyslexia, a developmental reading disorder.  Yet, in spite of his dyslexia, Mike has written 25 books, hundreds of articles, and is the Executive Director of Safe Havens International the world's leading non-profit organization dedicated to the safety of children. Dyslexia is a difficult hurdle to overcome, but Mike sucked it up, overcame his obstacles, and has become very successful.

Master teachers have an excellent work ethic. There are many things a teacher could do after school hours.  Master teachers forgo many of them to grade papers, plan lessons, or reach out to their students.  They are dedicated to their children, so they sacrifice of themselves to give their students what they need to succeed.

So a solid work ethic is a a must for the Warrior, for the Sheepdog, and for the Master Teacher.

Do you have it?

The Rick Rescorla School Safety Award

Back in February, I blogged about Doe Creek Middle School's Sheepdogs of the Month.  At the end of the school year, one of the Sheepdogs of the Month was selected as the first recipient of the Rick Rescorla School Safety Award.

Rick Rescorla’s picture was featured on the cover of the book “We Were Soldiers Once, And Young” by General Hal Moore and Rick Galloway. Rick served in the British Army, enlisted in the US Army, and fought in the Battle of Ia Drang, Vietnam. This battle, in which Rick was awarded the Silver Star, is chronicled in Moore’s and Galloway’s book. During the battle, Rick sang Cornish martial songs to keep up his troop’s morale.

After he retired from the Army, he became Vice President of Security for Morgan Stanley/Dean Witter, housed in the World Trade Center(WTC). He was there in 1993 for the first attack, and his actions, along with his foresight and preparation, saved the lives of 2,700 people. He pushed, cajoled, and wheedled employees to practice evacuations. When the building authorities gave safety directives that were not the best, he ignored them and continued to drill his employees, cheerfully ignoring their protests.

He was there in 2001, on the day when the twin towers were attacked in the manner he had predicted. When the building authorities told everyone to stay put, he once again used his cheerful, forceful personality to get the employees to disregard the bad instructions. The employees of Morgan Stanley/Dean Witter used the protocols he developed and relentlessly drilled into them to successfully evacuate the tower, all the while listening to his singing of Cornish martial songs.

All but six of Morgan Stanley's 2,700 WTC employees survived. Four of those six were Rescorla and three deputies who followed him back into the building; Wesley Mercer, Jorge Velazquez, and Godwin Forde. (Time Magazine, June 9, 2008).  Rescorla’s honor cost him his life, a cost he gladly paid. When told he needed to evacuate as well, he replied, "As soon as I make sure everyone else is out." Rick lived his life, and gave his life, with honor. He was a man I definitely consider to be an outstanding example for all sheepdogs.

I can think of no better man to represent the epitome of a sheepdog.  It was Rick's example that inspired me to create this program.  Our PTO provided funds for a plaque that would list the winners of each year.  The individual being honored also receives a personal plaque.

This year's winner is Ellen Krug.  Mrs. Krug was our choir teacher.  Her relationships with her students helped her intercede in numerous situations that might have led to violence.  It also led to a student trusting her enough to come to her with a rumor of a student who had run away from home.  Not succumbing to denial, Mrs. Krug brought the problem to me, and I contacted law enforcement.  They were able to locate her at her home.  Her parents did not know she was there, but were able to get to her at home and address the situation.

Her watchfulness over her charges extended to bus trips between Doe Creek and New Palestine High School.  She would be able to take over 80 students on these trips with no discipline issues, and always had complete accountability.  Not an easy task with middle school students.  She was also very conscientious about her safety responsibilities, often being the first to ask questions about a procedure.  

Ellen Krug exemplifies the spirit of Rick Rescorla, and represents the best of our Sheepdogs.  Mrs. Krug, thank you for helping to keep Doe Creek students safe and secure. 

Bullying - What is It?

This may take a few posts, as bullying is a complex issue.  I am looking for feedback, as a discussion on this topic must be had, at many levels.

First off, I was a victim of bullying for six years as a child.  I was called names, beat up, excluded, made fun of, and generally had a bad time of it.  Before anyone starts thinking I had a miserable childhood, it wasn't.  I had a stable family parents who loved me, so the bad times were mitigated with caring parents.  That didn't make the bad times any more enjoyable.

The first step to problem-solving is to identify the problem.  What is bullying?

Indiana Code IC 20-33-8-0.2 states that bullying means overt, repeated acts or gestures, including:
(1) verbal or written communications transmitted; (2) physical acts committed; or (3) any other behaviors committed; by a student or group of students against another student with the intent to harass, ridicule, humiliate, intimidate, or harm the other student.

Well that's just great!  Leave it to legislators to develop language that only other legislators can truly understand.  So let's break it down.  Overt means that the behavior must be open and observable; not hidden, concealed, or secret.  That's a problem.  Often the bully hides what he/she does.  So that means the sheepdog's job is to bring the bullying to light.

It has to be repeated.  Technically, that means more than once.  Does that mean committing a defined behavior twice makes you a bully?  Three?  It is important to establish a pattern of behavior.  That means the sheepdog has to find a way to show the behavior has been repeated.  That means documentation.

Lastly, there has to be intent.  Wolves intend to harass, ridicule, humiliate, intimidate or hurt others. Yet we have all engaged in such behaviors, yet we don't truly want to hurt others.  Therefore determining intent is vital to combating bullying.  That means that the sheepdog has to know his students, to better be able to discern intent.

Another aspect of bullying, not considered by legislators, is control.  The victim of bullying loses control over their liberty to another.  This loss of liberty is why bullying is such a problem.  Liberty is one of our inalienable rights.  We have gone to war to defend it.  Yet when a child loses it to another child, we have erroneously classified it as "part of growing up".  Yet what lesson do we teach when we enable the loss of control of a child's liberty right?

When one person strips another of control while engaging in the above defined behaviors, then true bullying is taking place.  As the bully intends to do this, then what we have is, at best, sociopathic behavior.  When the bully enjoys the pain caused, then it can be said that he/she is exhibiting psychopathic behaviors.  When described like that, it's easier to see why bullying has become such a problem.  Add the instant gratification of the electronic age, and we have a recipe for societal disaster.

No pressure. 

A Sheepdog Kind of Day

My week last week ended on a very typical sheepdog kind of day.  The kind of day that makes me glad to be a sheepdog.

It began with paperwork from a pending expulsion of a student who was a bully, and not suited for a standard educational environment.  Gotta love the paperwork, necessary as it may be.

I had previously received a couple of reports that a student was inappropriately touching others in private places.  The student in question is a sweet child who isn't the strongest thinker, and it was not in my mind that she was doing this with malice.  Children who exhibit such outward sexual behaviors usually do so because they were sexually abused themselves.  I asked her teacher to bring her to my office so I could talk to her.

When she came in, she was all smiles, and her body language was open.  I began to ask her about her touching other students, and she started to fidget as she explained she just "poked" them.  I began to press a little, brushing aside her child-like attempts at deflections.

Several years ago, I received law enforcement training in interviewing and interrogation techniques.  I also received training in therapeutic interviews, drawing information out of abused children that can start the healing process.  Fortunately, I rarely have to use those skills, but they came into play that day.

Rapport-building was not necessary, as I already knew her pretty well, so I was able to begin some basic questioning.  It was only a moment or two until her responses to the questions were coupled with avoidance behaviors.  She stopped looking me in the eyes, she leaned away, her arms closed, and her face took on an aspect of shame.  In direct response to the question of whether anyone had ever touched her in her private parts, she gave the strongest response thus far, including touching herself.  To be sure of the response, I asked her again, and got the same response.  I had established that something awful had happened, and it was time to leave it in the hands of people better trained than I.

After she had left, I had to do some calming exercises.  Seeing children who have been preyed upon makes me furious, and I cannot act that way, so getting back to an even keel was necessary.  I did some auto-genic breathing, looked at pictures of my family, and ended on some pictures my daughter Carole had made for me.  Feeling grounded again, I could move on.

Next up was a case of battery.  Two students had been having problems for a couple of years.  That week, words were flying back and forth, mostly between their friends.  The younger boy had finally had enough, and came up behind the older boy and swung at him.  The older boy grabbed the younger one around the waist, and they both went down.  The younger one grabbed the older one around his face, and began squeezing.  A teacher intervened, but it took some doing to get the younger boy's arm away from the older one.

This one required the assistance of Hancock County's finest.  As in the above case, I often need the help of experts to determine how serious a situation is, so Hancock County Sheriff's Deputies came and assessed the attack to see how serious it was.  They watched the video, and then spoke to the boy and his parents, who had been called in.  The victim's parents decided to press charges, so they stayed to complete the paperwork.  By then the day was done, but not quite for me.

I went outside to my car to put something away, and I saw two Welsh Corgis running around, one with a limp.  I called out to them, and the one with the limp came right up to me while the other ran off as if it didn't hear me.  The corgi that came to me had a tag, so I called the number on it and got a phone number from the veterinarian.  I called and left a message at the number.  I gave the corgi some water and some peanut butter pretzels, which he loved.  The vet had said his name was Hoss, and it fit, as it looked like Hoss had not missed many meals. 

I used whitepages.com to reverse trace the phone number, and found that the owners lived right across the road from the school.  I took Hoss home, and reunited him with his owners.  His owner told me the other corgi had made it home, which amazed him, as she is deaf.  That explained why she didn't come when I called.  Seeing the joy on the owner's face made everything that day worthwhile.  A hurt little girl was going to get help, justice was served in a battery case, and Hoss was back with those who loved him.

It seemed fitting that one sheepdog help another to end my day, although I wasn't sure who helped who.  Thanks Hoss!

School's Sheepdogs are Key to its Turnaround.

Nicole Fama and Gwendolyn Hardiman took their positions at opposite ends of a hallway near the Arlington Woods Elementary cafeteria on a recent Thursday morning.

"Here they come," Fama said, as the first of hundreds of students burst through the school's front doors.

Before long, a line of students stretched from one end of the hallway to the other. And for the next 20 minutes the boys and girls waiting to enter the cafeteria received hugs, smiles, advice and lectures -- and anything else they needed -- from Fama and Hardiman, two educators whose weekdays begin with keeping order during the school's free breakfast program.

But this duo's job is not about cafeteria duty. Rather, it's about ensuring that the discipline problems that plagued Arlington Woods for many years are minimized. Their performance is high on the list of impressive things at an impressive school. As co-leaders and the only members of the discipline team, they've helped spark a quick turnaround at the Eastside school.
http://www.indystar.com/article/20110220/LOCAL/102200369/School-s-peacemaking-pair-gently-lays-down-law-?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|IndyStar.com

In my last post, I recognized those who are sheepdogs in my school.  Reading this article in the Indianapolis Star this morning, I realized I needed to recognize others as well.  Fama and Hardiman are the epitome of sheepdogs.  They love their kids, but know that outbursts and fighting disrupt learning.  They develop rapports with their children and parents, as well as intelligence on issues that will affect learning.

I don't know how much they are paying these ladies, but it is a necessary expense, and it is clearly not enough.  Nicole Fama and Gwendolyn Hardiman, you are on my Sheepdog Hall of Fame!  Matthew Tully, thank you for bringing these Sheepdogs to the attention of Indianapolis!

Paperwork: The Dark Side of School Safety

My school had a two hour delay today, and I had to get my own little girl to her school, which was also on a two hour delay.

So what exciting adventure awaited me when I arrived?

Paperwork.

I received an email from the corporation office that they needed information for a "civil rights" report.  They sent me a 32-page pdf with instructions, and asked for discipline info from last school year.

Four hours later, I was able to send them what they needed.

In the meantime, I had to deal with a lunch-time bullying situation, a disrespectful student, lunch duty, and a report of pot being smoked on a school bus.

Sheepdogs have to find balance.  Paperwork is sometimes a necessary evil, but it cannot replace being in the halls, eyeballing kids, and maintaining a presence in the halls.

On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs

The whole idea of the sheepdog is the brainchild of one Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman.  He taught Psychology at West Point, and is a graduate of the U.S. Army Ranger School.  I first met him at the Indiana School Safety Specialist Academy Basic Training, where he spoke to us about how media can influence children.  He was engaging, intense, and I knew that if I were to stay in the school safety field for very long, I would have to put on my war paint.  I have a couple of his books, "On Killing" and "On Combat", both excellent reads.  Why an educator would be reading such things should become more apparent the more you read my blog posts.  The essay below explains the core concept of this blog, and the center point of my professional life.  Hooah, LTC Grossman!

(From the book, On Combat, by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman)

"Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always, even death itself.

The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for?"

- William J. Bennett

  In a lecture to the United States Naval Academy

  November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me: “Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident.” This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another.

Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin’s egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful. For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

“Then there are the wolves,” the old war veteran said, “and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy.” Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

“Then there are sheepdogs,” he went on, “and I’m a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf.” Or, as a sign in one California law enforcement agency put it, “We intimidate those who intimidate others.”

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath--a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero’s path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

The gift of aggression

"What goes on around you... compares little with what goes on inside you."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone has been given a gift in life. Some people have a gift for science and some have a flair for art. And warriors have been given the gift of aggression. They would no more misuse this gift than a doctor would misuse his healing arts, but they yearn for the opportunity to use their gift to help others. These people, the ones who have been blessed with the gift of aggression and a love for others, are our sheepdogs. These are our warriors.

One career police officer wrote to me about this after attending one of my Bulletproof Mind training sessions:

"I want to say thank you for finally shedding some light on why it is that I can do what I do. I always knew why I did it. I love my [citizens], even the bad ones, and had a talent that I could return to my community. I just couldn’t put my finger on why I could wade through the chaos, the gore, the sadness, if given a chance try to make it all better, and walk right out the other side."

Let me expand on this old soldier’s excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids’ schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid’s school. Our children are dozens of times more likely to be killed, and thousands of times more likely to be seriously injured, by school violence than by school fires, but the sheep’s only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their children is just too hard, so they choose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn’t tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, “Baa.”

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog. As Kipling said in his poem about “Tommy” the British soldier:

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind,"

But it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind,

There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,

O it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door. Look at what happened after September 11, 2001, when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, “Thank God I wasn’t on one of those planes.” The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, “Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference.” When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

While there is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, he does have one real advantage. Only one. He is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory acts of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

However, when there were cues given by potential victims that indicated they would not go easily, the cons said that they would walk away. If the cons sensed that the target was a "counter-predator," that is, a sheepdog, they would leave him alone unless there was no other choice but to engage.

One police officer told me that he rode a commuter train to work each day. One day, as was his usual, he was standing in the crowded car, dressed in blue jeans, T-shirt and jacket, holding onto a pole and reading a paperback. At one of the stops, two street toughs boarded, shouting and cursing and doing every obnoxious thing possible to intimidate the other riders. The officer continued to read his book, though he kept a watchful eye on the two punks as they strolled along the aisle making comments to female passengers, and banging shoulders with men as they passed.

As they approached the officer, he lowered his novel and made eye contact with them. “You got a problem, man?” one of the IQ-challenged punks asked. “You think you’re tough, or somethin’?” the other asked, obviously offended that this one was not shirking away from them.

“As a matter of fact, I am tough,” the officer said, calmly and with a steady gaze.

The two looked at him for a long moment, and then without saying a word, turned and moved back down the aisle to continue their taunting of the other passengers, the sheep.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I’m proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, “Let’s roll,” which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers--athletes, business people and parents--from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

“Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

"There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men."

- Edmund Burke

  Reflections on the Revolution in France

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn’t have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior’s path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church. They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs. Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to slaughter you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, “I will never be caught without my gun in church.” I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a police officer he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas, in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down 14 people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy’s body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?”

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for “heads to roll” if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids’ school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them. Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones were attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?”

The warrior must cleanse denial from his thinking. Coach Bob Lindsey, a renowned law enforcement trainer, says that warriors must practice “when/then” thinking, not “if/when.” Instead of saying,“If it happens then I will take action,” the warrior says, “When it happens then I will be ready.”

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: You didn’t bring your gun; you didn’t train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by fear, helplessness, horror and shame at your moment of truth.

Chuck Yeager, the famous test pilot and first man to fly faster than the speed of sound, says that he knew he could die. There was no denial for him. He did not allow himself the luxury of denial. This acceptance of reality can cause fear, but it is a healthy, controlled fear that will keep you alive:

"I was always afraid of dying. Always. It was my fear that made me learn everything I could about my airplane and my emergency equipment, and kept me flying respectful of my machine and always alert in the cockpit."

- Brigadier General Chuck Yeager

  Yeager, An Autobiography

Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation:

"..denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn’t so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling. Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level."

And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes.

If you are a warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be “on” 24/7 for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself... “Baa.”

This business of being a sheep or a sheepdog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-grass sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.
(From the book, On Combat, by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman)